Marriage and Death could not be more different- yet at the same time, they could not be more similar. One similarity stands out in Ancient Greece: the process of becoming a God. This process has two names: theos (when referring to a specific god) and daimon (when referring to an unspecified otherworldly or godly force).
To understand this idea, we must first understand how marriage is an initation. The bride and bridegroom are being ‘admitted’ into a life together. The couple is going from seperate lives to a new beginning together. At this precise point of iniation: the bride and bridegroom transform into gods. The most common belief is that the couple become Ares and Aphrodite. Aphrodite is the goddess of love and beauty; Ares is the god of warfare and combat. They were often depicted as the gods of love. For the split second of this iniation, the couple transforms and then become humans again.
In Death, we see a similar process. Heroes who die in battle become gods at the moment of their death and then they return as humans and die.
The ancient Greeks often associated love and death together. In an excerpt from the poetry the ancient Greek Sappho, she quotes:
“Some say an army of horsemen, some of footsoldiers, some of ships, is the fairest thing on earth, but I say it is what one loves.”
In the case of Ares, the thing that he loves IS the army of horsemen and such. However, Ares is also in love with love itself (Aphrodite) so in the mind of Sappho, Ares is the male image of love.
In the Iliad, we see Patroklos taking on the form of Ares before his death.
“Then Patroklos sprang like Ares with fierce intent and a terrific shout upon the Trojans,
and thrice did he kill nine men; but as he was coming on like a daimōn, for a fourth time, then,
O Patroklos, was the hour of your end approaching, for Phoebus
[Apollo] fought you in fell earnest.”
This is very strange. According to the first line, Patroklos is being described as becoming Ares, which is an example of theos (specific god). He is also referenced as “coming on like a daimon” in the next line, which refers to an unspecific god. Patroklos was a daimon to every one else around him. The other warriors in battle witnessed a superhuman, godly force overcome Patroklos but they were uncertain of the exact deity. Patroklos becomes human again when Apollo kills him with a blow to the head.
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